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After being tossed aside Tony makes a drastic change and finds himself on a journey that opens him up to more than he ever expected. It wasn't easy but he's worth it. 


This is a DiNozzo/McGarrett pairing.




Abby watched hidden in the shadow of the building, she really wasn’t snooping; she came out to take a breather from a hard case that she’d been poring over. But something made her stop, she looked around unsure where the feeling came from, and then she saw Tony and Gibbs.

She almost walked out to greet them, and then she saw the look on Tony’s face and stopped. The pain he was feeling was clearly written all over his face. She looked to Gibbs to see if he was going to comfort him, and realized he was the one causing the pain.

Puzzled she moved as close as she dared and listened, needing to know how to help and what she might be able to do. As she listened she put her hand over her mouth to stifle her cry as the tears ran down her face.

“No, Tony. No more. It should NEVER have happened.”


“Why? Too afraid to feel? Or is it that you finally realize I’m a man, though frankly I thought you grasped that point when your mouth was wrapped around my dick and deep throating me.” Tony sneered “For God’s sake Jethro, we’ve been seeing each other for months. What the hell brought this on?”

“It was just a mistake nothing more, nothing less.” Gibbs hissed out between his clenched teeth.

Tony quieted down as the hurt, anger and pain flowed through his body. It felt as though he’d been punched in the gut. “I can’t believe that. Fuck you! We were just making plans the other day to take a trip, so forgive me if I can’t just swallow what you’re telling me. Something happened and you’re ready to just throw away what we were building. I know you’re a bastard, no surprise there, but this is beyond what I expected from you.

“It is what it is, you’ve no choice but to accept it. Nothing you can say will change my mind, I’m done talking about it.” Gibbs stormed off leaving Tony in shock wondering what the hell happened. He leaned against a tree trying to get his emotions in check and before heading back to work.

Abby watched from where she stood, unsure of what to do and not understanding Gibbs behavior either. Sure couples fight, they argue and they break up, but this seemed different and from what she heard completely out of the blue. And right now her friend was hurting and she didn’t know how to help him.

She watched the slump of his shoulders and saw the very clear pain and loss in his eyes. She watched as he took a deep breath, straightened his shoulders and stood up shaking his head to clear his thoughts. She noticed a look come over his face and a certain resolve that sent a chill down her spine.

He pulled out his phone to make a call, but he was speaking to low for her to hear, at this point she didn’t care about privacy or secrets, all she knew is that call was rocking her world. She may not know how, but something hinky was happening and she needed to figure out how to fix it.

After he finished his call he headed into the building with purpose, like he was on a mission and that scared her. She ran into the building using the side entrance hoping to see where he was headed. She nearly plowed into Ducky. “Sorry Ducky.”

“Abigail, where are you rushing off to?”

“Can’t talk now, later. Something very hinky is going on and I need to figure it out.” She continued running off leaving a very worried and confused ME.

Feeling only slightly guilty about the whole spying thing and finding out about Tony and Gibbs relationship, well I guess it’s not one anymore, but still; she rushed to see where Tony was heading. Despite her run in with Ducky she beat Tony as he just stepped out of the elevator.

He started to head up the stairs to the Directors office.

“DiNozzo, we have a case. Get down here.”

Tony just looked down at him, his green eyes empty and cold and continued his way to Vance’s office without speaking a word.

Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God Abby thought. This is so bad, I’ve never seen that look in Tony’s eyes before and never ever directed at Gibbs. She looked over at Gibbs and saw his look of surprise, anger and something else.

Abby stood there waiting until finally Tony came down the stairs and headed to his desk, grabbed his jacket and bag, and headed for the stairs.

“DiNozzo! Get back here, you can’t just walk out of here. Need I remind you we’re in the middle of a case? ” Gibbs ordered

Tony simply continued out the door. Everyone in the area was staring with their mouths open unsure what to make of it. Sure Gibbs and DiNozzo had fought and yelled before, but this seemed different somehow.

Abby watched the whole thing with her own gut churning, something was happening. She couldn’t talk to Gibbs, after all he was the cause. With tears streaming down her face she headed for Ducky, maybe he could help make sense of all of this.

She walked into Autopsy and the ME took one look at her face and sat her down in his chair.

“Abigail, what’s the matter? What happened?”

She burst into tears that she had managed to hold back. After a cup of tea from Ducky and some sympathetic words she relayed all that she had heard and seen.

“Well my dear, normally I’d admonish you for eavesdropping, but I realize that was never your true intention. And after all that you were privy to hear, I can certainly understand your need to continue. I must agree with you, Anthony going to the director and leaving without speaking is not a good sign. I wish I had known that the two men had started a relationship, maybe we could have helped, but as you heard it, seems that Jethro, for whatever reason ,is shutting Anthony out.”

Ducky looked at Abby. “I’m not quite sure how to go about offering any assistance either. Since this was all information neither of us was privy to.”

“What if we dropped by Tony’s tonight and just said we noticed he was gone and were worried. We don’t have to let him know what was heard and maybe he will tell us what happened.”

Ducky thought a moment. “Yes my dear. That seems to be the way for us to go. The best we can do given the circumstances.” He stood up. “Well, let’s get through this day and see what we may do to help our dear Anthony.” Giving her a hug and sending her back to work he sat back down.

                              #######################################################

Tony watched as the last of his stuff was loaded on a truck, along with his car headed for storage. He had packed the basics for himself prepared to buy what he needed once he was settled.

Sitting on the coffee table in his otherwise empty apartment, he was amazed at what could be done in a few hours if you knew the right people and had enough money. He really wished it didn’t have to be this way; it was certainly not how he imagined it.

But he sure as hell didn’t know what was up with Gibbs or where this need to push him out of his life came from. However, he did know he wouldn’t be able to work with the man after this. Not the fact that he didn’t want to share his bed or life, but the way he did it. He was a big boy, he certainly could handle a break up, except for the fact that Gibbs had taken it to a level that was unacceptable.

Hugely surprised by how co-operative Vance was, considering he skirted around the reasons for a transfer. On the other hand the relationship he has with Vance had vastly improved after he worked on a couple of ops with him directly. And right now Tony was grateful for that new relationship.

He was damn lucky there was an immediate needfor him at another NCIS office. Because when he went into the office he was sure he’d have to be assigned to a ship or some forsaken place or forced to turn in his resignation. Instead somewhere a deity of some fashion looked down upon him and smiled, deciding to give him a break and as such he was being assigned as the SAC at Pearl Harbor.

He chuckled at the memory of finding out where he was going from Vance.

**Flashback**

“I have an opening at Pearl Harbor, the current SAC requested to step down due to some personal issues. It would seem that the timing couldn’t be better for all involved.”

Hawaii? Seriously?” A small smile flit across his face at the thought of living in Hawaii, it was definitely far enough away from Gibbs. “I’ll take it sir.”

“Good. I’ll send the paperwork ahead of you; they’ll expect you in two weeks. Go home and start arranging your move. I’ll assign a couple of TAD’s to Gibbs so you can get stated. I understand that you have a new case, but I’m certain the other agents can pick up the slack.” Vance looked at Tony’s face, sensing there was a great deal more involved in the request than Tony let on, but frankly he was just happy keeping him employed as an NCIS agent. Sensing that Gibbs was a huge part of the reason, he decided to give Tony a chance for a clean break. “I’ll inform Gibbs after I finish up here, go home and do what you need to do.”

Shaking Vance’s hand I once again thank him as I head out the door to grab my things from my desk.

** End Flashback**

 

He looked around making sure the movers hadn’t missed anything. He was staying at a hotel for a couple nights before flying to his new home. That would give him a chance for goodbyes to those he chose to give them to. And leave plenty of time when he arrived to start the search for a place to live. He’d scoped out a couple places on the web and figured he could look more tonight.

He looked at the letter he’d written, sure it was the coward’s way of telling them, but right now his emotions were still too close to the surface. Besides he’d given them the hotel he was staying at tonight and was certain they would be dropping by. But those hours between that happening were necessary.

He was leaving a huge part of himself behind, and it was not going to be easy. He and Gibbs had worked together for over ten years, watching each other’s sixes, becoming friends and then lovers. That was a lot to walk away from, but he knew he had to. If he stayed he was certain he wouldn’t be able to move forward and positive that the strain would pull him down.

And with Gibbs desire never to talk about it and that it was all a mistake…well that’s not exactly something you can comfortably work around, and he made the difficult decision not to.

He called Jimmy while he was packing and talked to him already, and vented, ranted, and raved. But it had helped a great deal being able to talk to someone. Once Jimmy got over the initial shock of learning Gibbs and he had been lovers he was quite helpful. He also reminded me that I was going to the land of Magnum! Gotta love friends who know you so well.

Placing the letter on the coffee table, he pulled out his phone and called a cab to take him to the hotel. He noticed the several messages from Gibbs and deleted them without even listening to them, he didn’t need to. Gibbs was no longer his supervisor and no longer a part of his life. Gibbs got what he wanted; they would not be talking about it.

Hearing the cab, he grabbed his suitcase, garment bag, and jacket closing the door behind him.

                            #########################################################

 

Gibbs was ranting and raving at NCIS demanding to know what was going on and why his SFA had been allowed to just leave during an active case. Never once giving thought to his words and actions and the effect they had on Tony.

He received word that Vance would meet with him later and was sending a couple of TAD’s to help out for now. That certainly did nothing to contain Gibbs’ ire. The only thought running through his head was how he was going to kill Tony.

                                    #############################################################



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